The Gap Between The Pauses

The Big Breakfast at the Secret Garden Cafe , Angelo Street, South Perth. Cost $18.00. This gets you 2 x fried eggs, 3 x rashers of bacon, 2 x chipolata-style snages, 1 x hash brown, mushrooms, half a tomato, a leaf of lettuce, a slice of orange, 2 x slices of toast and a blister pack of Western Star butter. My dining pal said, "The bread is a sort of Tip Top Multigrain and the lettuce leaf is garnish at best so I'm scoring this a 7/10." I am being a sliver more generous with my Noodle rating (7.5/10)

We've all heard the meme. It's the 21st Century - where are the jet-packs? Personally, I don't want to share the skies with people who can't merge their vehicles adequately into freeway traffic (also known as my fellow West Australians), but that's just me. Before we even get to jet propulsion as a means of personal transportation, let's get some other stuff off the drawing board and onto the shelves at BIG W. Most of this may not suit you and where you live, Dear Reader, but it's my blog, so I get to call the shots. SMOOTH TALKING CAR Not like KITT from Knightrider, but a vehicle that psychs you up for meetings and big events with motivational patter uniquely styled for your psychology. Ships with 1000 phrases like: "Mandy, you look smoking hot today and your CV totally kicks ass! Prepare to NAIL this interview, sister!" HAULING OATS On wintry days, this contraption transports a bowl of steaming hot porridge to your bedside to the music