Zeitgeisters, Here in Oz, we love a home renovation show. Although their popularity has waned a little in the last few years, there are still new ones getting up like Jamie Durie’s AUSTRALIA’s BEST BACKYARDS, and I saw BURKE’s BACKYARD has returned to Network Nine in the form of one-off specials. Awww. Because I live in a flat, the closest I get to a water feature is when the upstairs decking leaks onto my courtyard during a heavy rain. So most of the home improvements on these shows aren’t for me. Also imagine what my landlord would say when he discovered his light cream walls were covered with purple flocked wallpaper in an Edwardian pattern. I’ve always craved flocked wallpaper. The closest I have come to creating anything that expresses my individuality and pride in my dwelling is the way in which I arrange the loose toilet rolls in my bathroom. The photos below reveal a triangular or pyramidical structure. I feel this geometrical tribute harks back to both the Greeks and the Egypt...

Zeitgeisters, As a tribute to the late Marcel Marceau I’ve been engaging in the art of mime at work and in my communications with family and friends. My “Walking Against The Wind” has been roundly panned and I have only received average crits for “Child Loses Balloon, Cries, is Given a Bunch of Balloons By a Kindly Balloon Seller and Floats into the Air”. So far, ‘Trapped in Bell Jar with Oxygen Rapidly Running Out” has drawn particular acclaim combining as it does those two commedia dell’arte faves “behind a pane of glass” and “asphixiation”. I’m working up some new material for the fan base: “Man trying to recall ATM number in a timely fashion so he doesn’t piss off those waiting in the queue behind” and one I’m particularly keen on, “I don’t want anyone to know that I just laughed at a gag on TWO AND A HALF MEN.” Elevate the Insignificant Mr Trivia P.S. Apparently TWO AND A HALF MEN has been the top-rating sitcom in the U.S. for the past two seasons. Hmmm.

Zeitgeisters, I was watching AUSTRALIAN IDOL with Miss Raspberry Beret. We were disagreeing about IDOL judge Marcia Hines. I was saying, "Why does everyone give Marcia a hard time – look she’s got tears now that whathisname is out of the comp.” Miss RB said Marcia always gets tears. I pointed out that this is exactly the kind of emotion that she watches reality television for. In fact I could imagine Miss RB reacting in exactly that way if she was in Marcia’s place. Miss RB pronounced Marcia to be “the same” show after show and I think perhaps she said, “safe” to boot. Perhaps the neologism “ same-f ” will cover it. The great thing about celebrity culture is that we feel free to make pronouncements about the people on screen despite having the most mediated, contrived, manipulated acquaintanceship with them. In RL (The Tract recognises this vintage geek speak for Real Life) we don’t presume to know people so with so little contact. For example, I see Ravi the Console Op...

PERTH: Today a South Perth Man filled his ice cube tray with water. This event was inspired by seeing the item – a white plastic cube tray, approximately 30 cm in length and ten cm in width - sitting in the dishrack. The man, who asked not to be named for fear of reprisals from local organised crime figures, was nonetheless pleased with his quick-thinking action. “This way, the next time I need ice in a drink, it will be available,” he said, “I can assure you, nine times out of ten I forget.” Sources close to ice cube tray confirmed the man’s statement and described him variously as ‘forgetful’ and ‘a typical example of the decline of Australian masculinity. Chips Rafferty would be appalled.”

Zeitgesiters, Foolishly, I looked to Free-To-Air Television to entertain this afternoon and found the only thing on that wasn't sport, was BARBIE AS THE ISLAND PRINCESS. Now I stoop to comment on the naffness of the animation. The 2D image that accompanies this blog post simply can't deliver the full horror of watching a disgusting 3D elephant (called Tika) emoting. At one point, when Tika was drowning, I wanted her to perish because the top of her head was idiotically high-domed like a Newfoundland hound's (unlike in the above image), her eyes were anthropomorphically forward on her head like a flippin' human and she was puffing her cheeks in and out as she wept with her own tragedy. Pah! Fortunately the politics were all RIGHT ON, because for awhile it looked as though commoner Ro (Barbie, natch) would be barred from marrying Prince Jerkweed (may have misheard this). Then in the last few momentsit turned out that Ro was, in fact, the long-lost child of a Queen a...

Zeitgeisters, I've always thought of the lyrics of the song Fame (from the film of the same name) as particularly asinine. But maybe they're quite accurate for some people. What I don't like about them is the unreasonableness of wanting anything like this: Baby look at me And tell me what you see You ain't seen the best of me yet Give me time I'll make you forget the rest I got more in me And you can set it free I can catch the moon in my hands Don't you know who I am Remember my name Fame I'm gonna live forever I'm gonna learn how to fly High I feel it coming together People will see me and cry Its the fever-dream of someone who doesn't know who they are. Gen Xs and particularly Gen Ys are very in tune with the notion of being famous no matter what. We have seven seasons of Big Brother to show us that. But just maybe, there is something fundamentally untenable about wanting to be famous and especially wanting to stay fam...

Zeitgeisters, One hundred and fifty posts! Congratulations to us. Me for writing 'em and you for reading some of them - or in the case of a number of you - all of them. The first 150th celebration I was ever involved in was a little something called WAY '79 or Western Australian Year 1979, which was a year-long event commemorating the European settlement of W.A. There was a jingle, posters, badges and a really cool logo. I thought it was cool then. I'm older now. Its a late 1970s representation of the black swan which is the emblem of our state. Word. Check out the Wikipedia for more on WAY '79 . Cheers, Mr Trivia