Great Writers Text Their Work

Looking across the street at the poor wretches at Risely Street Dome whilst we sup at C-15.  Not that there's anything wrong with Dome and their Chicken and Avocado toastie. But you get a better class of Bogan over this side of Risely. Over at Table 12 there's a nitwit wearing his cap inside at the table. He's also wearing a singlet to show off his massive gym-built arms. Faux tribal tattoo. Dude has two sets of shoulders. He's ignoring his girlfriend currently and texting or perhaps blogging like I am.

I imagine his blog is called Compassionate Fitness. He has just written the following: "Some dude in the corner who looks like the Comic Store Guy from The Simpsons, keeps looking over here and then typing on his phone. I don't think he's looking at Bec. If only he knew that beneath my awesome, ripped exterior was a poet looking for a word to finish a couplet about the beautiful soul that puppies possess. Also a word that rhymes with verisimilitude and contains the very same."

Fitness Dude looks up from his phone and notes how half the people in the cafe are either speaking with someone on their mobiles or tapping away on their smartphones or iPads.  "Why can't we just be with the one we are with? This is today's personal mantra. Gonna do 100 reps of the mantra in the next five minutes while I watch the way the sunlight cascades off Bec's amazing chestnut locks."

At least that's what I think Fitness Dude over at Table 12 is up to.

Near-Death Cowboy's Last Thought #02

Peppered

Most of  you will have seen the images of police lieutenant John Pike pepper spraying seated protestors at an Occupy demonstration at the University of California Davis last week. It has stirred up controversy and commentary because of the perceived level of disregard Pike showed towards non-violent demonstrators. Note also those sprayed were middle-class American kids who have high expectations of their nation's legal and political system. They believe in things like due process, innocent until proven guilty and The Constitution.

The image has also become the basis of a multitude of photoshopped, mashed-up gags. Yep, it's a meme now and it's gone viral. With a handful of exceptions most of the examples I see when Google-searching "Pepper Spray Cop" seem to be rely on random juxtapositional humor rather than any actual wit. Who ever mashed-up Pepper Spray Cop with Crying Dawson deserves kudos for cross-pollinating a new meme with a very old one, but most of what's out there seems to be pointless; Pepper Spray Cop in a Charlie Brown cartoon, Pepper Spray Cop in the hold of the slave ship in Ben Hur and Pepper Spray Cop on the cover of Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Worse still is the bleeding obvious Pepper Spray Cop at Iwo Jima and even Pepper Spray Cop sprays the Mona Lisa.  The last one fails to raise even an enigmatic half-smile.

No doubt the week ahead will bring us Pepper Spray Cop vs the Nevermind album cover, Pepper Spray Cop vs the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Pepper Spray Cop vs The Shawshank Redemption. I hope this flow of dross will be relieved by the occasional  flash of gold like Pepper Spray Cop at the signing of the Declaration of Independence (above).

Mr Trivia

Beverage Review (17/11/11)

Salia Cafe, at the corner of Point and Adelaide Streets, Fremantle. The Flat White  cost $3.80 and I rated it a (4/5). The chocolate biscuit thingy probably had a proper name but when I asked the guy behind the counter what the chocolate thing was, he said - "It's a biscuit".  In Western Australian pop culture parlance,"They're not fancy, but they're cheap," is a good way to describe the Salia.  My caffeine buddy rated his hot chocolate as "very good". 

That end of Freo has needed some decent coffee for some time. Huzzah!

Lem-O-Saver!

The only change I can think of that could have improved this product is a tweak in the name -  Lemon Saviour.  I think it has connotations of mystic power that the current name lacks. Anyhow, thanks for stocking this Woolworth's - you're my favourite half of the mighty food retailing duopoly that holds Australia to ransom! I find Coles even less attractive than ex-Howard-era minister Peter Reith. And that's saying something. 

Anyhow peeps, Lem-O-Saver.It's out there for 5 bucks! And you can amuse your household by announcing you've bought a strap-on for your fridge.

Near Death Cowboy #01

Experts point out how much "thinner" Perth White Pages is looking. Cause for alarm?

The new Perth White Pages telephone directory has arrived at our homes and it  appears to have been "Jenny Craig'd" by the technological gewgaw known as Tha Internet. The declaration on the cover "It's How We Connect" would appear to be far from true. Perth is a million plus city. So we're not huge, but just a few years ago it would have been difficult for a regular-sized adult to hold both volumes of the book in one hand. 

We look forward to future editions of the White Pages printed in ever so cute A6 or A7 sized editions that we can store in our cellphone covers.

Leaning Tower with 340g Mayonnaise for Scale

This was given to me by a friend who was trying to dekitsch his life as he ended one business and embarked upon another. (Thank you, Mr Axten).

What I like about it is the awkward size of the objet d'art. It takes up considerable shelf space particularly in terms of its  height. It isn't authentically modeled in detail nor in colour. It's a poor attempt in every way, but I like it.

Could I part with it? If THE ANTIQUES ROADSHOW were to inform me that it was a rare piece worth 1000 of your English quid, I'd probably say, "no, it has too much sentimental value" and then regret it immediately. Then I would attempt to assuage my feelings of sheer idiocy by securing Fiona Bruce's autograph.

I'm a well-calibrated apparatus when it comes to feeling regret about inconsequentials. I 'sweat the small stuff' constantly. It's the big ticket items that I react to with numbness and obliviousness. And no, I'm not referring to the emotional conflict I'd feel were I to contemplate selling a 1:1 scale model of another famous landmark like say, The Sydney Opera House or Clancy's Fish Pub in Fremantle.

But that's a blogpost for another day, eh Zeitgeisters?

PJK