The Gap Between The Pauses

G'day Zeitgeisters, When I get to work in the morning, I check my email and my voicemail. Adorably my voicemail usually has one or two hangups (as do we all). Those of you who feel a little nervous about speaking to my voicemail – you need to get over it – I don’t know who you are or what you want if you don’t tell me. And you know me, there’s no guarantee that I’d do anything even if I did get the message. That’s PRO-CRAS-TIN-ATION. I get between twenty and forty emails daily. Many of which are of the “Cheap Rolexes!” or “V1-agra without a prescription!” variety. Occasionally, I’ll stop to admire an amusing pseudonym; Ratchet A. Twine or Prakesh Digweed will want to sell me a Tag Heur or supply me with Canadian C1-alis, but dammit, at least those guys have memorable monikers, they deserve a moment of my precious time. By now, twenty-minutes have elapsed and I still haven’t really started work. That’s Procrastination. (See where this is going, now?) By the way, Boss,...

Hi Zeitgeisters, I am a lazy person. How lazy are you Mr Trivia? I can’t be bothered buying furniture, whitegoods, cutlery or crockery so I rent a furnished and fitted apartment in South Perth. Okay, not a snappy punchline. Not even funny, but it’s true. I had to move to my present address because my last place (approximately three blocks West from here) was sold. My former landlord had another place for the same rent and he became my current landlord. Last night I was tidying up and I realised that I have one of those “spatula-shaped” cheese slicers. Y’know, you run it over the surface of the cheese and a perfect slice curls off the top. Maybe it’s a butter curler or it could be an ice cream shaver. Whatever it is, I got one. I also have a jug for fruit juice and about twice the ice cube trays I thought I had. So like some dork, I have discovered a whole new Narnia Universe of utensils and vessels at the backs of cupboards and drawers, even though I’ve lived here now fo...

Hi Zeitgeisters, Conrad Janis is best known the world over for the role of bald, bow-tie wearing, Fred McConnell (Mindy’s father) in the worldwide hit sitcom MORK AND MINDY (1978-82). He has appeared in numerous other television series over the years such as DIAGNOSIS MURDER and FRASIER and is also a well-regarded jazz trombonist (Why not search for his music on the ‘net? Buy it, if you’re into jazz or tromboning.) Conrad’s Fred McConnell was given very few truly comic lines and in episode after episode was encouraged to blast through these with the sarcasm dialled up high (think Darren 2 from BEWITCHED). But despite all this he made an important contribution to the show. This became evident after Fred was removed from the series for all of season 2. He was returned from season 3. Conrad Janis celebrated his 78th birthday a week ago (11th February) so let us celebrate his Fredness and his jazz stylings. Elevate the Insignificant Mr Trivia

Hail Zeitgeisters, Sometimes bad shows will throw up good lines. I was watching a new episode of LAS VEGAS on the Free-2-Air. Don’t know why. I have no excuses. Was it some fugitive Cheryl Ladd infatuation left over from my 70s boyhood? Nope. My favourite Charlie’s Angel was Tanya Roberts. Did I think James Caan was going to rediscover his KILLER ELITE persona and whip out some pumping semi-automatic PECKINPAH-style firearm action and shoot everyone down? Nope. This blog doesn’t condone such shenanigans no-how. I had no good reason apart from sheer potato-couchiness for not flipping the channel to discover a gem of broadcasting that would expand my mind as it cleaned my insides. Thus I was stayed there slack-jawed with incipient moronic drool as the characters of Danny McCoy and Mike Cannon (love those names) decided who should enter the hotel suite of scary new casino boss Monica Mancuso. Danny is Mike’s superior and Mike kept coming up with pathetic reasons why Danny was t...

Hail Zeitgeisters, I have been literally swamped by people asking me what Poker Playing Dogs? since the last post. Okay, no one has asked me about them at all. But in case you were thinking about asking, here's the deal. The Poker Playing Dogs, as we usually think of them, were apparently painted as calendar art by CM Coolidge in the U.S. in the 1920s. The most famous of these is "A Friend In Need" (pictured). If you wish to know more, then Google it, my friend, like I did. Elevate the Insignificant Mr Trivia

Hail Zeitgeisters, Cast your mind back to the last time you read Quotations from Chairman Mao Tsetung (the so-called “Little Red Book”). Mao wrote the following: “The socialist system will eventually replace the capitalist system; this is an objective law independent of man’s will. However much the reactionaries try to hold back the wheel of history, sooner or later revolution will take place and will inevitably triumph.” And he probably couldn’t pick a Melbourne Cup winner either. The great thing about Gurus, Pundits or Rabble-Rousers is that they are so plausible. They know that if one says practically anything with enough authority, someone will believe, get on board, enlist in the cause. Mao didn’t have a reputation as a sculptor either (although the late actor Anthony Quinn did). As awkward as this seems, I am about to segue. When I need some down-time from my band, “To Be Continued” (see last post) I like to sculpt art. Sure, sometimes it’s only whittling a stick on my back po...

Hi Zeitgeisters, Just saw a movie on the old free-to-air telly (if I call it that, people think I have cable) called PLAY BY HEART. It asked me to believe that Sean Connery and Gena Rowlands were the parents of three daughters, Madeleine Stowe, Gillian Anderson and Angelina Jolie. And these daughters hooked up with Denis Quaid, Jon Stewart and Ryan Philippe respectively. I couldn’t accept this all-star family for even a nano-second. I can barely believe those people comfortably getting through the entrée at a dinner party. In what Universe can Stowe, Anderson and Jolie be related? It’s idiotic. Hmmm, they’re actors you say? And it’s only a movie. And we have to accept the casting of unrelated actors as family members every time we see a film? Good point. (Although one of the few good things about ED-TV was casting Woody Harrelson and Matthew Mcconaughey as brothers. You bought it.) Which brings me to this. As Chili Palmer turned his back on the evil world of the movie business for the ...

Just flying through, Zeitgeisters, on my way to empty out my storage locker down at the Koala Facility in O'Connor. (Will I get my $90 Australian back?). The locker is empty, the only thing of mine down there, is the padlock I bought to keep people from wandering inside to check out the dusty concrete floor. Still, locking things is MOST important. If we forget that, we descend to living like lemurs or baboons. And I'm not talking cute, anthropomorphic, Disney-esque primates either (Think: LION KING, then forget it and the Elton John soundtrack). Time only to say Hail to Thee. I'm new here as you can see. Don't have anything much deeper to offer than greetings or salutations at the moment. Or maybe ever... I, like many of us in the Blogosphere often have sweet F--- A-- to say, but I think saying it with style is a statement in itself. As Paris Hilton might utter, "That's Hot". Apparently that's her trademark phrase. Those of you who recall hearing tho...