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Slap Happy

Some quick thoughts on the Slap Chop.  NOTE: If you don’t know what that is or how it works spend some time watching the famous infomercial. You won’t even need to watch the whole thing.  You’ll get it before the first minute is over.

The Slap Chop seems okay. I don’t like it quite as much as Vince does. But Vince also likes the Sham Wow so his judgement is in question as well as up for sale.  I wanted a Slap Chop because I don’t like chopping vegetables. I do it six days out of seven and find somewhat dull.

I first learnt to chop vegetables as a kid working in my parents’ various restaurants, so I’ve have sliced a myriad of onions, a plethora of cabbage and a several tonnes of carrot in my time.  It’s boring and a tiny bit dangerous. Not sky diving dangerous, but certainly ‘get me to the emergency room, stat!’ levels of threat.

But my main objection to the Slap Chop is the size of the appliance. The celery, potato etc that go into it, are all sliced at least once. Some of the longer items have been cut several times. And I’m really not up for that.  I need a pre-Slap Chop invention that will take the carrot, wash it, peel it and cut it into quarters so it can fit into the Slap Chop. Without this kind of pre-Treatment I have at least 5 minutes of prep before I can have the cathartic fun of smashing down the button on the Slap Chop.

Five minutes people. That’s 300 seconds that I could be employing to greater effect. Reading great works of literature. Learning Esperanto. Or even blogging. (probably want to scratch that last one.)

If  this device were to be invented, then perhaps I could consider the purchase of the Slap Chop. I would like to propose The Slap Prep as its name. Hopefully it’s operation would be similar to the original ingenious kitchen appliance.

Go to it Domestic Scientists!

Mr Trivia


Chuck said…
See, I really wanted one of those, until vince was all like 'you have boring tuna and a boring life...' and now, well, my apetite for finely chopped produce has dwindled slightly
Mr Trivia said…
I agree. He flew too close to the sun. He was on a winner and then he unsold you. Another friend of mine pointed out that he has Charlie Sheen's predilection for paid sex and for getting violent with women so it's probably best we don't help him get any richer...

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