Skip to main content

Celebrating AFHVS

And Zeitgeisters, if you don’t know what AFHVS stands for, you’ll be stunned to discover it means Australia’s Funniest Home Video Show (Nine Network).

And yes. AFHVS is mediocre, mainstream, middle-of-the-road and vanilla. Or is it? (I learnt that little technique in high school debating.)

No, it’s actually bold, ground-breaking and revolutionary. “And why the hell is that. Mr Trivia?” I hear you ask.

Let us rewind to a recent Saturday. Witness the following: video-tape of a middle-aged couple sitting on a porch swing. Naturally, they swing back and forth. And like everyone else, I was thinking, yep, them chains is gonna bust and them two is gonna end up on th’floor! (Sorry , I’ve been watching the The Andy Griffith Show on Access 31). However, totally against all expectations, a dog leapt up and one of the couple fell out of the swing!

That chain was supposed to break! After fifteen years of AFHVS there was nothing else that the chain could do, but break. It was a certainty as solid as Gibraltar - but it didn’t happen. And with its non-happening, I caught a glimpse at a future, a revolution if you will, where other things might not happen.

Imagine a future where some dufus will not employ fishing line to make his pet appear to lip-synching a 1970s rock classic like Bohemian Rhapsody; a fat, drunken man at a wedding will not try to dip his dance partner too far and she won’t accidentally crash to the ground under his weight; a little kid will not swing for a t-ball, miss, and accidentally hit his father in the genitals.

But there’s a little more, Zeitgeisters, bear with me. Revolution is also a-brewing in the form of the current host of AFHVS, Toni Pearen. My partner, Miss Raspberry Beret, wrongly believes that I fancy Toni. This is because I have gushed, severally, about the job Toni is doing. Or the job she’s not doing (See what I did there?)

When Miss Pearen took over in 2003, I was simply glad that she wasn’t her squeaky-voiced predecessor, Kim Kilbey. But since then, Toni has carved a unique groove.

No matter how huge the prize, how lame the pun or how allegedly hilarious the upcoming video is, Toni never seems fully engaged in the task at hand. Toni P. reads that auto-cue, smiles, looks winsome and yet doesn’t appear particularly excited or even interested in the mirthful antics or the winning videos.

Who does that? Network 7 and 9 are chock-full of lifestyle shows with presenters who can feign enthusiasm and display pseudo-happiness at the drop of a pay cheque.

I’m telling you, folks, she’s the Che Guevara of light entertainment.

Elevate the Insignificant!

Mr Trivia


itchy said…
I have suspected for some time that Toni is quietly trying to undermine the foundations of network television from beneath the silky and tastefully-revealing dresses she sports regularly on the show.

I must confess, I've been in love with miss Pearen ever since one day in year ten I was given a teen pop star trading card instead of the Jurassic Park trading card I had paid for.

It was one of those moments when I realised that even though life sometimes doesn't deal you the cards you asked for, you get something better instead.

Toni's a hottie. Most especially for that bizzarre accent that sounds like she still hasn't worked out how to get her mouth to work around certain vowel sounds. :)

Popular posts from this blog

What's with George Eads' Hair? & David Edwards

Hey Zeitgeisters,

Bet you thought this blog would never top “What’s with Bradley Whitford’s Hair?” For those of you who weren’t part of that historical blog entry, it was the glittering moment where I wondered what’s with West Wing star Bradley Whitford’s hair. Good times.

However, tonight, while watching the current series (in Australia) of CSI :Original Recipe, I was forced to witness the unpleasantness of George Eads’ new(ish) 'do and I felt compelled to blog on’t.

George plays the part of Nick Stokes and has spent some 5 or 6 seasons with a haircut “you could set your watch to,” as Grandpa Simpson might say. It was always short; it always had that US Marine Corps vibe; it was always as dependable as the ebbing and flowing of the tides.

Now in something of an El Nino effect, I note that someone in Jerry Bruckheimer’s organization has decided to mess with the length of George’s crowning glory.

Although I chiefly watch CSI waiting for Grissom…

What’s with Bradley Whitford’s Hair?

Okay, Zeitgeisters, that’s as shallow an attention-grabbing start as one could ever want, but I really want to know. And sure, I’m really talking about Josh Lyman’s hair. (I’m like one of those people who insist on calling an actor by their character’s name – only in reverse. e.g. “Go Knight Boat!”)

Whitford plays Deputy Chief of Staff, Josh Lyman, in the Aaron Sorkin-created, NBC television series The West Wing. He plays this part to a tee and now he’s set to do great things in the new Sorkin drama, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. I know this last bit because the Angriest Ex-Video Store Clerk in the world told me.

Oh, and Whitford’s married to the awesome Jane Kaczmarek who plays mom, Lois, in the series Malcolm in the Middle. So Mr Whitford’s your regular pop-cultural icon and yardstick for excellence. We’re here in this, frankly, puzzling cultural landscape, because I’ve just finished watching season four of The West Wing on DVD. And Josh Lyman’s hair has bothered me throughout. It’s…

Not Canon? Son of A Gun!

So my fellow geeks, is there any way we can consider Joe Pesci's turn on the Snickers' telly ad as canonical to the LETHAL WEAPON franchise, or the Angry Man in Scorsese Films Like RAGING BULL and CASINO franchise? Probably not.

The idea that there is an established body of works that shape a fictional character and others that do not, has spread like Vegemite thanks to Our Beloved Internet. Her, nerds and geeks of every stripe will argue, for example, which movies or TV series about the Teenage Mutant Turtles are canon and which are not. In some versions of the story, Turtles mentor, Splinter is the mutated form of a man called Hamato Yoshi and in other versions he is the mutation of a rat owned by Yoshi.

I am given to understand that Peter Cushing's role in the 1965 movie DOCTOR WHO AND THE DALEKS is not canon, but is considered part of some kind of extended Doctor Who Universe. Science Fiction franchises like Star Wars and Star Trek, often have meandering strands of s…