Skip to main content

Taxing Times


I was speaking to Rollo Tomasi (not his real name) at the ATO (not a real government department) today on the electric telephone. He explained to me why it was only fair and reasonable that the outstanding amount I owed, was upped a further 15.75% every time crude oil prices went up or down.

He then explained that this was why the amount I owed the people of Australia was actually different to the amount on the little chit the Australian Tax Office sent me.

MR TRIV: It’s not a little chit. It’s a pretty big chit, actually.

ROLLO T: Very good sir, humour will get you through this.

MR TRIV: I suppose you’ve heard that one before?

ROLLO T: Yes, but not this week.

MR TRIV: So I’m supposed to recalculate this amount before I pay you…

ROLLO T: Factoring in the US Sub Prime Loan crisis and El Nino, yes.

MR TRIV: What about the Australian cricket team’s run rate?

ROLLO T: It depends whether you mean beach cricket or v. India.

MR TRIV: I’d just like to say that all of this is undemocratic and oppressive.

ROLLO T: I’m typing as you speak…

MR TRIV: Isn’t this being recorded?

ROLLO T: Geoff the Recorder Guy is still on holiday in Byron.

MR TRIV: Very nice.

ROLLO T: His wife’s family live there.

MR TRIV: Work life balance is important.

ROLLO T: Indeed it is. You were accusing us of being oppressive?

MR TRIV: Yes, I was going on to say you were violating my human rights.

ROLLO T: Not me personally, I hope.

MT TRIV: No, no! The pitiless bureaucracy you represent.

ROLLO T: I do think you’re on somewhat shaky ground, sir.

MR TRIV: I go where my conscience leads, Rollo.

ROLLO T: Well in that case, check out

MR TRIV: The Human Rights and Equal Opportunities Commission website?

ROLLO T: Correct. Did you know it’s their 21st Anniversary?

MR TRIV: No I didn’t.

ROLLO T: Please wish them happy birthday from me. Say, “Rollo sends his love”.

MR TRIV: I’m really not comfortable…

ROLLO T: Fine. I might have crossed a line. Sorry.

MR TRIV: It’s just as well Geoff’s in Byron.

ROLLO T: Yeah, we’re saying all sorts to the punters.

MR TRIV: Right. I need to wrap this up. Thanks for your assistance.

ROLLO T: You’re welcome and by the way, we all love your blog.

MR TRIV: Thanks, but how do you know about it? I’m the fictional Mr Trivia.

ROLLO T: I don’t get your meaning.

MR TRIV: You’re not talking to me as Mr Trivia, I’m using my real name.

ROLLO T: Still not quite…

MR TRIV: How did you work out Mr Trivia is me?

ROLLO T: We are the Tax Department, Wayne*.

Elevate the Insignificant,

Mr Trivia

* Not my real name.


Popular posts from this blog

What's with George Eads' Hair? & David Edwards

Hey Zeitgeisters,

Bet you thought this blog would never top “What’s with Bradley Whitford’s Hair?” For those of you who weren’t part of that historical blog entry, it was the glittering moment where I wondered what’s with West Wing star Bradley Whitford’s hair. Good times.

However, tonight, while watching the current series (in Australia) of CSI :Original Recipe, I was forced to witness the unpleasantness of George Eads’ new(ish) 'do and I felt compelled to blog on’t.

George plays the part of Nick Stokes and has spent some 5 or 6 seasons with a haircut “you could set your watch to,” as Grandpa Simpson might say. It was always short; it always had that US Marine Corps vibe; it was always as dependable as the ebbing and flowing of the tides.

Now in something of an El Nino effect, I note that someone in Jerry Bruckheimer’s organization has decided to mess with the length of George’s crowning glory.

Although I chiefly watch CSI waiting for Grissom…

What’s with Bradley Whitford’s Hair?

Okay, Zeitgeisters, that’s as shallow an attention-grabbing start as one could ever want, but I really want to know. And sure, I’m really talking about Josh Lyman’s hair. (I’m like one of those people who insist on calling an actor by their character’s name – only in reverse. e.g. “Go Knight Boat!”)

Whitford plays Deputy Chief of Staff, Josh Lyman, in the Aaron Sorkin-created, NBC television series The West Wing. He plays this part to a tee and now he’s set to do great things in the new Sorkin drama, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. I know this last bit because the Angriest Ex-Video Store Clerk in the world told me.

Oh, and Whitford’s married to the awesome Jane Kaczmarek who plays mom, Lois, in the series Malcolm in the Middle. So Mr Whitford’s your regular pop-cultural icon and yardstick for excellence. We’re here in this, frankly, puzzling cultural landscape, because I’ve just finished watching season four of The West Wing on DVD. And Josh Lyman’s hair has bothered me throughout. It’s…

Not Canon? Son of A Gun!

So my fellow geeks, is there any way we can consider Joe Pesci's turn on the Snickers' telly ad as canonical to the LETHAL WEAPON franchise, or the Angry Man in Scorsese Films Like RAGING BULL and CASINO franchise? Probably not.

The idea that there is an established body of works that shape a fictional character and others that do not, has spread like Vegemite thanks to Our Beloved Internet. Her, nerds and geeks of every stripe will argue, for example, which movies or TV series about the Teenage Mutant Turtles are canon and which are not. In some versions of the story, Turtles mentor, Splinter is the mutated form of a man called Hamato Yoshi and in other versions he is the mutation of a rat owned by Yoshi.

I am given to understand that Peter Cushing's role in the 1965 movie DOCTOR WHO AND THE DALEKS is not canon, but is considered part of some kind of extended Doctor Who Universe. Science Fiction franchises like Star Wars and Star Trek, often have meandering strands of s…