Keep it Clean

By Gerald Fie
Not to be a downer or nothin', but between the overuse of anti-bacterial hand-santiser and the overuse of antibiotics making them less efficacious against bacteria, we're pretty much one-sneezing-guy-on-a-plane-ride-who-turns-out-to-be-patient-zero away from a Steven-Soderburgh's-CONTAGION-what-happened-to-the-top-of-Gwyneth's-skull? scenario. If I go first, you can have my 1977 Star Wars bubble gum cards.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What's with George Eads' Hair?

By
Image
DailyCeleb.com & David Edwards Hey Zeitgeisters, Bet you thought this blog would never top “ What’s with Bradley Whitford’s Hair? ” For those of you who weren’t part of that historical blog entry, it was the glittering moment where I wondered what’s with West Wing star Bradley Whitford’s hair. Good times. However, tonight, while watching the current series (in Australia) of CSI :Original Recipe , I was forced to witness the unpleasantness of George Eads’ new(ish) 'do and I felt compelled to blog on’t. George plays the part of Nick Stokes and has spent some 5 or 6 seasons with a haircut “you could set your watch to,” as Grandpa Simpson might say. It was always short; it always had that US Marine Corps vibe; it was always as dependable as the ebbing and flowing of the tides. Now in something of an El Nino effect, I note that someone in Jerry Bruckheimer’s organization has decided to mess with the length of George’s crowning glory. Although I chiefly watch CSI wa...
Read more

What’s with Bradley Whitford’s Hair?

By
Image
Okay, Zeitgeisters, that’s as shallow an attention-grabbing start as one could ever want, but I really want to know. And sure, I’m really talking about Josh Lyman’s hair. (I’m like one of those people who insist on calling an actor by their character’s name – only in reverse. e.g. “Go Knight Boat!”) Whitford plays Deputy Chief of Staff, Josh Lyman, in the Aaron Sorkin -created, NBC television series The West Wing . He plays this part to a tee and now he’s set to do great things in the new Sorkin drama, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip . I know this last bit because the Angriest Ex-Video Store Clerk in the world told me. Oh, and Whitford ’s married to the awesome Jane Kaczmarek who plays mom, Lois, in the series Malcolm in the Middle. So Mr Whitford’s your regular pop-cultural icon and yardstick for excellence. We’re here in this, frankly, puzzling cultural landscape, because I’ve just finished watching season four of The West Wing on DVD. And Josh Lyman’s hair has bothered me througho...
Read more

The Multiverse According To Von Disco

By Mr Trivia
Image
Esteban von Disco saw his first moonbow (a nighttime rainbow) whilst dog-sledding with his family across Alaska at age 1. “It transformed me from a baby, wasting time and precious resources, into a being of sheer wondrous potential. I saw the infinite and was unafraid.” Three decades later, in March 2017, he deploys GENERIC | LOGO on all platforms, in all markets, simultaneously, osmotically and with maximum humility. As he explains, “You’re in the middle of a forest fire and the sun goes nova. And you’re like – “I get it”. Von Disco conlangs at genius level. “Sun Tzu and the Buddha, they grok me, bruh.”  Indeed, they are very much the spiritual underwriters of the GENERIC | LOGO exemplar and IPO.  Think back to the normcore era when life was basic and artisanal insecticide was not yet a thing. “I had the year from Hell,” he says” My haircut guy dies. He’s crossing the street with my lunch time ramen, his Zimmer frame gets caught in a car bumper and BOOM!” GENER...
Read more

Am I Rachel Green Enough?

By
Image
Zeitgeisters, Well, there it was, in the “Notifications” part of my Facebook page. Three of my FB friends were Rachel Green from Friends. Which one was she? Oh yeah. Jennifer Aniston. Three in a row just like that. A hat-trick sorority of Green clones. That was fine for them and their Rachel ‘dos. But what of me? Was I Rachel Green enough to take the mantle? Gritting my teeth I added the “Which Friends Character Are You?” application and answered the not-too-stupid questions. I mean I had to do it – I have blogged about my feelings for FRIENDS. Question #1: How would you like to spend a Saturday afternoon? Cooking a fancy dinner Shopping, of course! TV - 'nuff said Doing absolutely nothing Saturday's a great time to get your work done! Figure out where to go and whether there will be hot people there. Surely “doing absolutely nothing” and “TV” were the same answer? Which would I chose? What Would Rachel Do? Shopping, right? But I couldn’t consciously...
Read more

Marketing, Huh?!

By
Image
Creativity and commercialism collide Zeitgeisterinos, Most of us have developed effective filters for advertising. We know when we’re being sold to or marketed at. So it’s pleasant to see something new. I say new in the sense that this piece of advertising makes no sense at all. Yesterday, I was walking from the Perth train station and into the city when I spied this in Myer’s window. After walking on for half a dozen steps, I turned back and took another look because it didn’t compute. As far as I can tell the message is: “after shopping for great fashion why not visit our café and enjoy a hot beverage and a…” And a what? What IS that? A bagel with sesame seeds? A donut with sprinkles? Why is it circling that mannequin like a doughy life preserver or the rings of Saturn rendered in pastry? I figured the interpretation of this mercantile art installation was beyond me, so I whipped out the trusty Nokia and took a photo. Seriously, what the heck is going on here? Mr Trivia
Read more

The Science of Silkening Our Language

By Gerald Fie
Image
If you're a Generation X-er like myself, you may remember the above headline as a parody of the slogan of a shampoo called Silkience.  The Science of Silkening Your Hair  was the promise with every bottle. I guess the name itself was a portmanteau word that shoved  silk  together with  science  in an unholy humentipeding of the two commonly used dictionary terms. The sharp-eyed amongst you will recognise humentipede  as a portmanteau neologism recently invented by me in the previous sentence. And yes, I have sewn together the word  human  and  centipede  and thus blatantly ripped off the rather repellent concept invented by Dutch filmmaker Tom Six for his series of  Human Centipede  movies. I come neither to praise Tom Six nor mention his work any further, I am here to discuss words and the writing of same.  The science of silkening one's hair sounds good. It is supposed to bring on though...
Read more

Institutional Memory

By Gerald Fie
Image
Note: If you’re here, you were connected with Perth’s Film and Television Institute at some point. The FTI in the form that we know it, is being wound up and some of its functions are being taken over by ScreenWest. This is my idiosyncratic tribute to the FTI as it was formerly. I’m not someone who plans things. Depending on how well you know me, you might be saying “Amen to that” right about now. There was no plan to have anything to do with filmmaking when my friends and I entered our first efforts in the WA Film and Video Festival almost 35 years ago (forerunner of the WASAs). We made experimental films on Super 8 movie film; in-camera editing, falling down sand dunes, raw meat and tomato sauce representing the terrible effects of our filmic violence.   Super-8 was the cheapest type of movie film. 8 millimetres in width. You could shoot two-and a-half to three-and-a-half minutes depending on your frames-per-second. We had no money, so shot “longer” at 18 fps. Our ti...
Read more

Vending Machine Win

By
Image
I had only planned on getting the above items.However, the vending machines in the place I work are programmed to take your money and give you nothing in return. I required a bag of Sour Squirms. They were in the bottom right hand corner compartment - E8. I put a fiver into the note-snatcher, heard $1.50 clatter into the coin return. The large black coil holding The Squirms, rotated one turn and released the bag, it shuffled forward two centimetres, then stood teetering on the ledge, just above the pit you grab your goodies from. I willed it to fall. It trembled on the brink like a plump diver waiting for the referee's whistle. After about five seconds it became clear that my paid-for bag of Squirms was content to stay where it was - like a portly Greg Louganis, frozen in time on a sprinboard to nowhere. There was no way I was going to allow this to happen, but because I too can be described as portly there was also no way I was going to be seen sh...
Read more

Manifesto For A New Tomorrow

By
Image
Channel 7's Kochy say Woot! to 2007, Mums, Dads & Kids. Zeitgeisters! I’ve spent the last week living like a mentally-fragile, reclusive millionaire, sans the mansion and the money. I’ve been writing through the night and sleeping all day. I’ve been going to bed at 8am and waking at 4pm. Everyone is out to get me and all surfaces are covered with germs. Okay, I made up the last bit. No germs. And because I’ve covered all my windows with three ply aluminium foil, no-one can get me. Not even Barry Bostwick. (Note: First Bostwick name-check for 2007). So, 2007, eh? Either the start of a glittering future or just another year in an endless blur of undifferentiated existence that leads ineluctably to the Big Dirt Nap. Thank God for the distraction of professional sport and Ikea. And I guess there’s substance abuse for some of you, although that’s looking a bit 2006, if you ask me. So, New Year’s Resolutions, I think we agree, are crap. Instead join with me and let u...
Read more

Christmas Telly Highlights 2012

By Mr Trivia
Image
No, Virginia, The He Man and She-Ra  Christmas Special (1985) is not on this year Hail Zeitgeisters, Obviously today is a day for family etc. what would you be doing watching the telly, eh?  However if you do wish to cast your eye over what’s on the free-to-air digital, you’ll find slim pickings. We’ve had a quick look and chosen some highlights also some “highlights” This selection is based on the Perth guide which will be similar to the guide in many capital cities, but there may be some regional differences. NATIVITY (2010) 9.16 AM-11.00 AM (ABC 1) Mr Maddens, a primary school teacher, is charged with producing the school's nativity play and competing against the posh rival school for the honour of 'best show in town'. Martin Freeman from THE OFFICE (UK) is the lead in what is a well-regarded family movie according to many on-line, although I thought this was awful when I saw it on Christmas Eve. Suss it out yourselves though when it is repeated today....
Read more